The fear of of doing something can be greater than the desire. This is the case for some readers who contact me writing that they want to travel solo but are afraid of traveling alone.
Fear stops them.
I understand this. In my case, I have a great desire to camp in Canada's wilderness but I have a serious fear of bears. It's not based on nothing. Bears have caused people harm. But, in reality, it is a rare occurrence. My fear is disproportionate to the potential of the problem.
Fear can be unnecessarily paralyzing.
People's fear of traveling alone can also be paralyzing. But, in most cases, the fear is based in issues that can be addressed. Unlike the wilderness, there is a logic to the world as we travel. Find that logic, develop the necessary skills, and the notion of solo travel is no longer quite so overwhelming.
For this post I reached out to other travel experts for opinions. I put out a call on the question of travel fears and concerns to a site called HelpAReportOut. I asked what prevents people who want to travel from doing so and received a lot of great advice to share here. Let's dig in.
Facing the Fear of Traveling Alone Head-on
One of the first steps in facing any fear is to name it. Break it down to see the source of the fear and determine whether it makes sense or not. Below is a list of reasons people might be afraid of traveling alone. Click on each fear to read recommendations on how to overcome them.:
- Fear of being lonely when traveling solo. Have faith. Solo travelers are rarely lonely. It's not that solo travelers are never lonely. They are on occasion. But the readers of Solo Traveler frequently comment on how many people they meet because they're traveling alone. Certainly, that's my experience. Read How to Travel Alone Without Being Lonely: 10 Tips & 12 Posts.
- Fear that the world is dangerous. My first suggestion is to avoid reading and watching the media if they make you anxious. This fear and solution was offered by Aaron Edwards of Life Travelers Traveling Life. “The media does not show all the good happening around the world, just the bad” he wrote. He's right. So, if the news makes you anxious, stop watching it before you travel. Go cold turkey on the crime shows as well. Read Great Advice for Solo Travel Confidence: You’ll Be Okay.
- Concern about personal safety. You can plan for your safety. You do so at home naturally. It just takes a bit more thought when you are going to new places. Read 5 Principles of Solo Travel Safety for an overview of the fundamentals or for more, Solo Travel Safety: 50+ Proven Tips to Keep You Safe.
- Fear of feeling self-conscious eating alone. This fear usually comes from a narrow view of the many options we have for meals. A standard restaurant is just the beginning of the possibilities for eating alone. Read Eating Alone is Easy When You Know How.
- Fear of not keeping up with the group. This fear requires self-awareness and advance planning. Determine the activity level of your destination and make sure it matches your ability before booking. If traveling across time zones, plan a day or two of recovery time so that jet lag isn't your challenge. If you need special support at airports (the walk to a gate can be incredibly long) or hotel transfers, plan them in advance.
- Fear of traveling with pre-existing conditions. Before booking a trip, check with your health professional to ensure that they support your plans and buy travel insurance as soon as you put down any money on your trip. Read Travel Insurance for Solo Travelers: How to Make Sure You’re Protected. You certainly want to ensure that you have an adequate supply of any medications in their prescription bottles and you may also want to wear a medical bracelet. Depending on how active the condition is, you may want to let any travel companions know about it.
- Fear of traveling with food allergies. This is a big reson some people are afraid of traveling alone. My husband has celiac disease so it's important that he not have gluten. Egg and peanut allergies are even more dangerous. Fortunately, the world is adjusting to most food issues. When booking a flight, tour or cruise, be sure to inform the company of your food allergies. They will work with your needs. There is an app called FindMeGlutenFree which my husband has used in many countries. Always pack safe snacks for yourself. As a vegetarian, I always travel with a bag of (peanut-free) nuts.
- Fear of culture shock. If you go to another country there will always be cultural differences. Avoiding culture as a shock simply requires a bit of research. Watching travel videos on Youtube and reading about your destination on blogs usually does the trick. The important thing is to be respectful of the differences. They may not make sense in your culture but the differences developed for a reason. For me, understanding that reason for cultural differences is part of the pleasure of travel.
- Fear of unfamiliar food. You may already be picky with food in your own country, so it makes sense that you might be worried about the food of another country. If possible, try the cuisine of your country destination before leaving at a market or restaurant. If your fear is about spicy food, there is always the possibility to ask for a milder version.
- Fear of mental health challenges. Tabby from JustCantSettle.com shared her approach to her mental health challenge. “The two key things for me were mental health and nerves around the safety of solo travel as a young woman in countries where I didn't speak the language, know anyone I could call in an emergency, etc. … Different people's experiences of mental health vary wildly and how they deal with their problems will be different for every individual, but for me it was having conversations with my friends, sitting and mapping out my goals and what made me happy and what didn't. … After stewing on it and taking small steps – facing a small fear every day, setting myself little life challenges like going to a gig alone, staying overnight alone in another city, taking a weekend break alone instead of with someone else – I put pen to paper and worked out that my chances of being miserable and anxious were much greater if I stayed at home, that my mental health was not being helped by staying where I was and doing the same old thing. I had panic attacks in busy markets in Vietnam, I had down days in Thailand, but overall I have always had incredible experiences as a solo traveler and would do it all again in a heartbeat.”
- Fear of leaving a pet behind. Lindsey Danis wrote that her concern for her dog was a challenge. “While it didn't hold me back from taking a 5-week trip, I did worry about whether something would happen to my senior pet while I was gone. … What helped me leave my furry friend behind was finding someone trustworthy to care for him while I was away (my roommate and my mom shared caretaker duties), placing pictures of my pet on my devices so I could look at him while I was away, checking in as I traveled, and accepting that loss could come at any time, whether or not I traveled. It wasn't easy to go, but I had a great time and managed to worry less when I was away. While my pet has since passed away, he did survive the trip.”
- Fear of disregarding family responsibilities. Katherine of Bright Lights of America says that “perceived familial responsibility was the biggest factor that held me back from travel for a few years. I'd been an expat in London for a while and moved back to Australia when my mother became ill. After she died I felt that I couldn't resume expat life and the travel that I wanted to do because I didn't want to leave my father or my brothers alone. It felt as though I was abandoning them to deal with the ongoing grief and the family business to pursue a selfish dream. Talking through that guilt with a psychologist and then with my family was what eventually set me on the path to take up work in San Francisco. It was a long road to working out that I could support them from wherever I lived, and that we all had to move on with our lives. I've been in San Francisco for two and a half years now and while it can be tough sometimes, it helps to remember that I am not solely in control of other peoples' happiness.”
For more tips on working through being afraid of traveling alone, check out these posts: